Monday, June 17, 2013

Consolation Prize

I had just sat down on the couch with the coffee table in front of me. Gregg had just plopped on his recliner at the end of the table. Hugo was already in place on the end of the couch, Ray's favorite spot when he's not sleeping in his favorite chair.
I had taken one bite of green bean when Ray showed up. Since access to his favorite spot was blocked by my knees, Ray put his head against them and leaned all his weight against me to get me to move. Not wanting to disturb Hugo, I patted the couch next to me on the side opposite.
"Come on, Ray," I said, "Get up here."
Ray declined. The pushing continued. Hugo watched the big dog suspiciously. I patted the couch again.
"Come on, Ray. Get up." I said again.
The dog didn't move.
Moonie showed up. She jumped into the space between me and Hugo, a spot just wide enough for one really thin cat, then stepped onto my lap and sat down facing my plate.
Totally immobilized by the cat and the dog, with my food getting cold in front of me, I pushed the dog head away and lifted Moonie to drop her on the far side of Hugo.
"Everyone is to get off of Jean," I said reaching for my plate.
Before I could quite get it, Moonie was back in my lap and dog head was against my knees, pushing.
Hugo, the good boy, was watching the scene. Gregg was waiting patiently for things to resolve themselves.
"Everyone is to get off of Jean," I said again, as I relocated the cat and dog head.
As soon as she hit the couch cushion, the Terminator cat made a beeline for my lap and the dog head became more insistent on getting his space.
Exasperated and a little distracted, I once again grabbed the MoonPie and dropped her on the other side of Hugo, leaving a slight space between knees and table. Sensing his chance, Ray pushed past my knees to get to his space. Incensed, Hugo hissed and swatted at Ray, missing the big dog by a whisker, and rapping his knuckles on the table in the process. Ray, caught totally by surprise, turned his head to avoid the cat, and whacked it into the table edge.
No longer feeling secure in his spot, Hugo ducked under the table and ran. Ray, respecting the hiss and whack, settled for the secondary spot on the other side of me. Moonie happily laid claim to the large piece of real estate abandoned by her furry brother.
I shook my head, sighed, and looked at Gregg.
"I just console myself with the thought that we don't have to pay college tuition," he said as he tucked into his coolish dinner.
I laughed, shrugged, and decided that it was a pretty good consolation.


  1. Ha ha, I can picture this scene only too well, its a learning curve here right now as well, with a little dog who thinks all food in the house should be offered to him, and that all cats should sling their furry hooks and get new digs !

  2. Ha! That's how Jeffrey and I console ourselves, too! It's also how we point out to our friends who have children why dogs are better than kids ;)

  3. I don't know how you handle that! I used to eat in the closet when I had an overbearing lab I fostered and she was so insistent when I was eating. Eventually, she learned to ignore me, but until then, I actually considered not eating for a while. Your situation makes me laugh and at the same time I am truly amazed at how calm you were about the whole thing! I probably would have yelled "ACK" and jumped up off the couch and run into a pet-free room!

    1. Truthfully, the worst one is Moonie. She is relentless and drives me insane. Ray just wanted his spot and couldn't figure out why he couldn't have it. He didn't realize it was already taken (it's that whole blind thing again).

  4. Once again (p)awesome writing, I really do look forward to reading each & every entry ... and to think you thought the source material had dried up! :0]

    1. (blush).
      And you have to admit, things have slowed CONSIDERABLY since the first two years.

  5. I also think that your writing is great!
    I've been in similar situations with a blind dog and a cat or two. Usually the cat is convinced that my lap is the spot to be and of course Breeze has to check her out. So I am left to balance a full mug of hot coffee and a slice of toast while trying to keep the cat's tail out of it and then Breeze gets her big feet in there to hold the cat still. Yup, no college tuition!