Saturday, April 21, 2012

A Note from Jez

Dear Ray, 
Please accept my most sincere apologies for taking so long to submit for consideration, as part of your utterly compelling & historic life record, my thoughts on your receiving us inferior humanoids at your home, for your global audience to read (and bay along to)

I have been following your blog, as communicated to your personal secretary with your brilliant animated eyebrows (how is your court-case against Jean-Dominique Bauby going?) and you will be both thrilled and relieved to learn that, as a result of your impeccable demonstration that sight-free canines rule OK, your greyhound cousin across the pond - Conor - was released from his shackles of human fussing to follow in your pawsteps to a full & mischievous dog's life :0)

Me and the trouble & strife (that's wife for those w/o Cockney) will be forever indebted to your friendly welcome and offer to share the culinary, sommelier, veer-here-cull and other skills provided by your live-in staff, Jean & Gregg ...not to mention allowing us all to congregate in your dining room for a sumptuous feast & witty banter whilst you relaxed in your quarters. Mainly on your back. I can only hope that our well-practiced belly-rubs more than made up for your hospitality?
Jez giving the well-practiced belly-rub
We were amazed at your house-sized kennel and the well-tended landscape gardens and your generous offer to allow Jean & Gregg to decorate both with their delightfully quirky collection of memories. Not to mention allowing them some generous dignity to refer to your fans as their friends after you had sent out an invite for a fully stocked BBQ & beer event, complete with tasty choons for you to howl along to in your inimitable way (and thus so graciously include the entire 'hood)

Smilin' for his fans
I must tip my hat to you for persuading Man to make that lake you took us round (note - our neighborhood lake is man-made - jean). And how kind of you to have a word in advance with that graceful heron and those sun-basking turtles to make an appearance as you walked us round the perimeter although, of course, your company alone would have been more than adequate. However, I just cannot apologise enough for failing to curb my shocking driving skills after I failed to alert you to that post via your communication tethering device (your female attendant referred to it as a leash if I remember rightly?)  
Graceful heron
Sun-basking turtles
Walking the perimeter

Anyhoo, I have dilly-dallied too long and been greedy with my much-valued audience with you given the short time you can afford me amongst your legion of fans. And fitting in sleep. And with your other charitable functions to attend to (such as your selfless burying of time-capsule bones for future hound generations to dig up and marvel at). We really miss you Ray. And your full time staff. We felt like we were left hanging and it took us a while to settle back in to our lives on t'other side of the pond :0(

Still, I am so glad I clearly needn't press you to look after yourself!
Yours, your 2nd biggest international fan, and most humble face-to-lick, 

PS Have you arranged with Jean yet to make a speeded-up video homage of her chasing you round the table to the Benny Hill theme tune? (note - hahahahahaha. hmmmmm, kinda like the idea -  jean)

PPS Has anyone ever told you what fantastic ears you have? (note - Ray knows - jean)

PPPS I have kept to my word of not telling Jean we caught you snuffling @ the kitchen counter (note - WHAT?! - jean)

PPPPS How kind of you to offer to critique our son's original take on funky rock with his band Jagged Lexicon & a CD will be in the post (note - Ray looks forward to it - jean)

(note - you forgot to mention Ray's meeting the alien dog during the walk-around - jean)


  1. Bahahahahahahahahahaha - so bummed I missed all this!!

  2. Ray was so perplexed that the alien dog smelt like an Earth dog yet had a curious helmet on that freaked him out so!

  3. I forgot to give credit to Jez and Niki for the accompanying photos. They add so much to the story-